I just love this quote from Author Christy Evans: “Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you always know they’re there.” I think it’s a pretty accurate reflection of the state of close friendships as we age.
But, busy as we all may be, it’s still important to maintain and/or grow friendships. Why? Because it’s good for our health- really!
Science tells us that friendships positively impact our health across the board, from increasing our life satisfaction, to decreasing the likelihood of chronic disease (Fuller, 2017).
Friendship has even been shown to improve your mind (Cook Maher et al., 2017)!
Now that we have moved past the pandemic, have you reconnected with friends?
When we’re younger, we develop friendships more easily, in part because we tend to be co-located (as in college) and as we get older, we tend to get wrapped up in work, family, maybe fitness or other hobbies, and we don’t spend much, if any, time with friends.
We try to squeeze them in between all of our other commitments and it often takes weeks to schedule something as simple as a cup of coffee. Sound familiar?
What can you do about this?
Well, what if you actually made time for friends?
What if you made it a priority?
What if you picked up your phone and called or texted a pal to catch up?
To get together sooner rather than later? I guarantee that your friend will be tickled to hear from you, no matter how long it’s been.
And, of course, you can always make new friends. It’s a little more challenging than renewing existing friendships.
Science tells us that it takes about 90 hours of contact with a potential new friend to convert that acquaintance into a friend. It takes another 100 hours of interactions to shift from friend status to a close friend status (Hall, 2018).
But all is not lost! You can make new friends, and spend time maintaining relationships with old friends.
You know what to do about old friends, but how do you actually make new friends? You have to start by going to places where people gather. Cast the net broadly and be persistent.
Take the initiative and invite a potential friend out to lunch or to get together for coffee. Don’t treat is as a onetime thing though.
It may take you a few times to see if the friendship potential is there. And check out the list below for some possible ways to increase the likelihood that you meet new potential friends.
- Volunteer somewhere that’s of interest to you, and ideally somewhere where you’re not the only one working.
- Wait! We do that! It’s called SunUp Rotary! Join in on our breakfast meetings and community service projects!
- Join a community group whose focus is of interest. Lots of options for these in the quad-cities!
- Attend community events like art shows, music productions, parades, fundraisers, there’s all sorts of opportunities all year round!
- Join a faith community, and participate in more than just services.
- Take up a new hobby. Sign up for a class about something you’ve wanted to learn, take a class at a gym, the senior center or art league.
- No matter what though, keep a positive attitude. Not everyone may wind up being your friend, but if you continue to put yourself out there with a friendly attitude, you’ll meet people with whom you’ll resonate and you will make friends!
Friendships are a critical part of having a rich, full and healthy life. And this isn’t just Laura pontificating- the Mayo Clinic even thinks so (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2019).
So, what can you do to maintain friendships or create new ones?
What are you willing to do, for your health, for your life?
Take a step, any step. You’ll be all the better for it.
Here’s to friends!
HOLIDAY PARTY
Wednesday, December 7th
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